Sunday, February 27, 2011

To work or not

Spoke with one of my friends after a looong time and we took the opportunity to update each other. Since the two of us are sailing different boats, but on the same lake towards the same destination,, when we voiced out our concerns, fears, opinions, emotions buried under our so called happy faces, it felt as if we were having a conversation with our own mirror image.. Yes, it was not surprising to find the similar thoughts that goes on in our minds, still surprising that we were able to voice it out.Probably, we have grown so tired keeping thinks to ourselves. Since it was a weekday and we couldn’t continue our banter for a long time being at work place, we had to cut short. We have been planning to meet up (our residences are 5 kms apart!)  for the last 2 years and still haven’t found the time to do it.  That’s my other goal in the next 2 months. Fix up a time and meet up, else days, weeks, months will roll by and we will always have some reason to postpone.

This friend of mine , H and I have been considering quitting our respective jobs and taking a break for quite some time now, but have always been ambivalent about the same . This time, she tells me that she has decided to quit and have already submitted papers at work place. Now, this has got me thinking ,(this has been in my thoughts for a long time, but now, the thought has only popped to the front and the thinking has become more intense) on the same lines. I’m unable to reach a conclusion, as always.

One part of me wants to try it out , that’s is, take a break from work so that I can be relieved of the stress that comes from travelling to and fro to the work place ,relieved of the hassles due to work itself and the politics at work. Mom suggests that by being at home , I could take care of my health better and the relative stress free environment will do good to me. While I’m very much OK with this, the other part of me is not sure if staying at home all day, for weeks together will keep me sane. As in, I will tend to keep thinking about only one thing (as such, I’m obsessed single mindedly about only one thing for the last few years now), which will in turn spoil my mental health. This part argues that atleast the routine of going to work will keep me occupied .

I’m not sure what to do. I’ve been in this cross roads for a long time and now, I would like to take a decision and be at peace with it.Every now and then, this thought pops up, whether I should continue to work or quit and take a break. The better half is very much open to the idea of quitting job but has left the decision making part to me. I do not know what to do. On one side, I would like to try it out, as this is one of the things that I haven’t tried yet. On the other hand, I dread being at home at a stretch , waiting for a miracle to happen. With nothing to do,(other than cooking and surfing and reading), I might tend to get more depressed. The day I find that I’ve conceived, I’m going to stop going to work, but till then, what is it that I need to do? My gynaec suggests that I don’t stress myself, but she doesn’t prevent me from going to work. She says it’s a call that I have to take. Does any of you know if staying at home is suggested by doctors for conceiving ? Does it really help? I know people have these doubts of whether to continue to work or give up after they have their babies. I’m here, not sure what is the right thing to do even while ttc. Suggestions are welcome.

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