Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Hearing lots a good news

Last few days, I've been hearing news of people welcoming little bundle of jou in their lives..Feeling happy for them..such news bring in some kinda hope within me, that miracles are possible..Waiting for my turn..Is someone up there listening?
Office work is a little ok these days, compared to the madness that existed in the previous months..Sat for the year end discussion and got loaded with all the expectations that the management expects from me..Was feeling not very Ok for the few days, was constantly thinking if I made a wrong decision by shifting jobs, but made peace within myslef and decided to take one day at a time, do whatever I can at work and leave the rest to the Lord above..Have decided not to add up work related stress on myself..
Went to Chennai to attend an engagement ceremony..Days preceeding to the travel, I underwent so much of an emotional stress ..The very thought of every Tom,Dick and Harry checking up on me if if I was getting my periods regularly, if there was any good news, if I was consulting Doctors, or what the Doctors were suggesting etc and etc..simply killed me and I tried my best not to take it on to my husband (which I usually end up doing, though unintentionally and out of getting to saturation point within myself). This time I did fare well comparatively, but I need to work harder on this aspect.
Looks like one of my cousins had an early morning dream that I delivered a baby girl and had named her Priyanka and this dream  was doing the rounds in the family circle  and people were wishing that this dream be true. I appreciate the fact that the cousin (whom I 'm not in touch with ) dreamt something nice , and shared it..but the news doing the rounds was not was I liked...anyways, not everything I like happens anyways..But was just wondering if people were doing a comedy out of me and my situation by passing the word along..Anyways, let her dream come true..
Sometimes, or rather last couple of days, I've been feeling very low and the thoughts of whom to blame for whatever has happened, and thoughts of what-if I'd taken a different decision has been doing rounds in my devilish brain and I'm feeling highly dis-oriented and not sure what to do..
I'm trying hard to focus , have the faith , accept the fact that whatever happens, its due to the will of the Lord..I'm trying, I hope I get some peace within me and try to build on the faith in the Almighty.
Whoever is reading (if at all there are any), can you please help me in telling what you would do when the going gets tough, really tough that too for a longer duration..I know there is no one -set formula or a list of guidelines or steps to follow that will help us get up from the fall, but would like to know if I 'm the one reacting to a difficult situation this way, that others are matured and deal sensibly. My friend and I always keep discussing that if it were for someone else, they would have faced/face this situation in a much better way..


  1. First of all, lots of hugs. Take it one day at a time. I know it's easy to say to ignore people who poke at you, but please try. Tell them that you will give the good news when it happens. And do not lose faith. Do you have time to take up some hobbies/classes? It will definitely take your mind off of negative thoughts. Hugs again.

  2. Oh, I'm so sorry! I know it's very difficult. I have been there! Sometimes people would ask me about having children. They didn't know I desperately wanted a baby. Usually I would just say something like, "We haven't been able to yet, but we really hope to." Usually that would clue them in that it was a sensitive subject, and they would usually stop asking questions once they knew that I really wanted a baby and was having some problems.
    Other things I did was read my Bible, try to stay encouraged, pray, lean on Jesus to get me through. I leaned on my close friends and family who really understood. It also helped me to meet blog friends going through a similar situation.
    I also tried to do things I enjoy like trying new recipes, setting out flowers, reading good books, going on little trips with my husband, etc.
    And sometimes you do just cry and feel discouraged. But my faith in Jesus Christ was the one thing that brought me through more than anything.
    I'm still praying for you! Don't lose hope! Miracles still happen.
    I hope I've encouraged you in some way. Just know that you are not forgotten!! Hugs to you!!

  3. Mahes: Hugs ! thank you! I took an attempt to try my hand at painting (which I'm pretty bad at starting from schooling days) and enrolled in a painting class beginning of this year and did some pot paintings..These days,I consciously force myself to pick up a book and start reading when the going gets real tough..At times, I wonder about my personality and what I was like few years ago! These years have almost made me forget what I was like before this episode started! Thanks for the kind words..I will try!

  4. Birdie: Many Congratulations dear!! I'm overjoyed to look at the little's one cute pic..And you havent mentioned her birthday :) !
    You know what, whenever people ask me, I've been answering : Yet to have kids, not yet, etc..trying to give the message that one day we will have..Ever since I joined this new organisation at work, atleast once in a week, I end up answering this qn..
    Thank you so much Birdie for keeping me in your prayers! It gives me so much joy on knowing that you do pray for me , bcos, I know and I have strong faith that the Lord will answer your prayers!! One of my friends usually says that God will not put down the single prayer of many people..So,I'm hopeful that a miracle will happen..Just that I need to strengthen this faith..this doesnt stay on at times when it gets really tough..Anyways, I will not bore you more..More pics of the cute family pls..May all HIS choicest Blessings be showered on your family ,Birdie..You and the little one are an immense source of inspiration for many like me!Hugs!Hougs! and kisses to the sweetie pie!

  5. Aww. you're so sweet. I just read your above response to my comment. :) And thank you for the e-card you sent me. So sweet!!

  6. dear SM, sorry for not coming to ur blog before. I had not seen your comment in my blog.

    Have you conceived? Kindly mail me at

    I wanted to have a personal chat with you in mail.

  7. HI SM,

    I wanted to share this link -
    Hope it helps.
    I wish you the very best in life.

    1. Kripa,
      Welcome here and sorry for the delayed response..I did go through the link,thanks for the same..But, I'm not a person who believes and therefore into reading self-help books..I do like inspiring real life instances, but self-help is a no-no for me..I somehow find them too theoretical, as everything is the mind..This is easier said that everything is in one's mind, but to put to practice is so difficult, as many of us know...

  8. Dear SM,
    I don't know whether you have heard about Garbarakshambikai Goddess,who supposed to solve this problem. If you have not heard then just google this name, and you would find all the details of her temple near kumbakonam, what you can do etc.
    This Goddess not only helps in conceiving, but also helps in building, good relationship. Pray to her and all your so called problems would be solved.
    Everybody goes through some very tough times in their lives, and when we are young, we tend to react to our problems in a negative manner, but that is okay, for that is how we have to learn in life. And in my experience, just keeping quiet, and expecting the problems to disappear will also not help. Whoever/ whatever is causing this has to be confronted and told that such things are making you sad, and that you are hurt. Talk it out to them in a calm manner, I am sure you will be happy you did that.
    Also understand that having a child is not all that important in life, there are other important things than that in life, so don't let such things ever depress you. You have a job and you have a good husband, be happy for those things.

    1. Rama,
      Welcome and Thank you so much for the comment.Yes, we have had a darshan of Goddess Garbarakshambigai many times and I'm glad that I had the opportunity to visit the temple. All procedures were followed each time I've visited. There is another post for the number of temples that we have visited and how I had to drag my husband everytime, for he is not a temple-going-person.
      Yes, after having spent few years with a single-objective in mind ,I've now come to realise that those years could have been spent differently..
      I agree Rama, keeping quiet will not help to solve any problem in anyway..Action is required in whatever form..But,how to go about controlling what others do and say..Now, as I write this, I've come far from giving a care about what others think or say..But, there were days , for a long period , when any remark from anyone on this baby subject would hurt me so much that I've spent many days crying that only the four walls know. Glad that those days are behind me .Thanks for your suggestion and hope to see you around..