Saturday, November 30, 2013

And then, we moved - Here's to new beginnings

 After half  decade of living  in the previous house , we shifted our residence this November. After deliberating over it for a loong time, the need to move , where to move etc, we finally found our new home and moved in the first week of November. Since it had been a loong time since we did the packing-unpacking settling business, I kept pushing away the thoughts until the day of the shifting ..S, who is generally a systematic person also didn't bother about it until the last day.

Only when we started packing , did we realize how much of material stuff have we accumulated over the years. We did isolate the stuff that needs to be given away , even after this, there were mounds and piles of stuff that needed to be carried to the new house.

I was constantly admonished for collecting stuff and not letting-go of stuff. What can I do about the little souvenirs, knick-knacks that serve as memories of growing up years, gifts given by friends - though you don't use them, don't want to throw or give away as you want to keep them in their remembrance, the phone diary which you used when you were a teenager , the steel eating plate that your grandma had given lovingly , the first gift that you got from your rakhi-brother (though the top has become faded and one size shorter ), S's T-shirt which I love the most (he handed me this and a couple more to be given away 2 years ago, but I'm unable to let-go of it), and the list goes on.. Not to mention the stack of greeting cards,letters and other random stuff.

It wouldn't take a minute to just let-go of all of these, but will I willingly do it? Am I a hoarder? Why am I clinging to all of these? I wouldn't have even bothered to take a look at most of these all these years, but the thought that they are "there" seems to be satisfying. I need to consciously try and de-clutter. On a deeper look, I'm not sure if I'm attaching myself to all of these materialistic stuff, for as I mentioned earlier, I wouldn't have a taken a second look at most of these in the past. If this not attachment, what is it? Is it just hoarding stuff? I don't know. But , need to de-clutter, even if the process is slow, needs to be done.

I deliberated a lot on this movement, because if I can attach myself to all these silly stuff, what about the house that we have lived for years? And it will not be complete if I don't mention the fear of change. Although there was a status-quo , I seemed to have gotten comfortable in the status-quo though I would talk at length about wanting a pleasant change from the routine. Change of house, change of surroundings, new people should be a change, isn't it? But, deep inside there was a fear of change. And there was a fear of loss of privacy. In our previous house , rooms were organised such that there was privacy for S and I. So, we had our moments of laughter and fights too. But, here, the layout does not allow privacy. lets see how we manage :)

We did not make many friends in the neighborhood in the previous place. Yes, we used to be in a hi-bye relationship with the occupants of the neighboring houses and whenever a help to be taken or given, all of us were forth coming. beyond that, there was not much of socializing. The only socializing with the neighbors was with the one neighbor in the opposite house which happened during festive occasions, especially during Deepavali when we used to come out to fire crackers. So, while I told the neighbors that we were moving out, they invited us and the Aunty whom I have not spoken beyond "Chenna githeera" or " Tindi Aayitha", (in the mornings if I bump into her when the palak wala comes in during weekends) was so welcoming and gave us a grand breakfast. She opened up her story and that is a mater for another post. The point is , I regretted for having missed the opportunity to socialize and be on more talking and visiting terms.  Though I got more philosophical and comforted myself that life's like that, you only realize the value of people/things when they are not there etc, there is a lesson that I should not miss to learn. That I should open up and not be in a cocoon. Most of all, stop assuming. I have had many experiences where people first ask how many kids I have or which Dr I consult and they recommend Dr's and prayers which has yielded child boon to  all their relatives. I was traumatized so much that I didn't bother to get out of my self-imposed cocoon.  I should change, so what if people are going to throw questions or give suggestions. Just give me them a smile, nod your head and move on. This is my life and I live the way I want to. I have not done any crime to be shut myself away from society.

Coming to the new house, this one is in an apartment complex, which is thriving with lots of social activity. I have not lived in an apartment , so this is a first for me. Our stuff were not unloaded from the truck , but the maids,paper-wala, flower-seller, milkman started queuing outside the house. That ways, when some carpentry or plumbing needs to be done, they are all one phone call away. I see that kids have a gala time in the complex, what with after-school plays , combined home-work etc. I will know its 3 PM when I start hearing kids chatter. And I will know its 7PM when the boys cycle in the corridor. Here's wishing us lots of happiness in this new place:)

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