A few questions and some observations :1

-- Why is it that I feel home sick, look forward to go to parents place, be nice first two days and pick up a fight with Amma the third day? I dont want to fight, but end up pouting/arguing for some silly reason..Amma being Amma , inspite of all the natak that I do, makes poli, badam cake, apple-mango juice, gets me fresh sugarcane juice, nungu, straight of the field veggies just because I like them and is extreeemeely patient and kind and nice to all, especially to the evil me. Am I the only terrible soul on this planet to scold and fight with her mother?

-- Summer is too hot this year in Bangalore, many parts of Tamilnadu. What are we doing to our earth? Is this Nature's way to teach us a lesson, and when will we humans learn , will be ever take a hint and start being nice to Mother Earth?

-- I have read and hear many people say that they can sleep anywhere, irrespective of the surroundings. Little did I know that if sleep were to overcome me, I can also sleep under a aluminum roof in a mid-day hot sun with sweat flowing all over in a thinnai and not caring about people around.

-- What makes people throng to a place and and listen to all the pooja being done to the diety even if they have to sit close to one-another under the scorching sun with the sweat and sounds of one person rubbing on to the one sitting/standing next to you. Is it due to the power of Namasankeerthanam combined with the presiding Diety that makes one and all forget caste/creed demarcations and just be one in front of HIM atleast for sometime?

-- While in front of the Diety , the so called madi-aacharam Brahmins mingle with one and all, what prevents them from sitting next to a group of people who they think are lower in certain aspects than them (Talk of dirt in minds vs dirt in physical body) ?

-- Irrespective of whatever you give the maid, why is she  unhappy? Is it wrong to treat them equals and provide them with all that within your reach and limits while they go on a cribbing spree asking for gifts for every full moon and new moon?

-- On the same maid note, I need to vent out an incident which happened a few weeks ago. The maid went absconding without leave for few days and on the 5th day, I enquired the watchman if she has signed in the register and come for work today. He replied in the negative and I got a return call from the same watchman and he started asking me questions like how long have we employed this maid and commented how are we managing with her for she is known to take leave without informing and that she takes leave very very often and quotes all possible reasons which seem glaringly false. I just nodded in return and cut short the conversation. The maid makes an entry the next day and even before she takes a few steps inside the house, she asks for hot coffee (mentions that she has headache) and me being me, rushed in to open a new packet of milk and make sure I give her strong coffee (I doubt if I have been this diligent in giving coffee to my MIL so far(;) and ask her if she would like to have some toasted bread etc. Her headache is in my mind and I dont ask her reason for absence for she will go in to explanation mode and I did not want to hurt her by mentioning what the people in the apartment talk of her . After 10 mins, I enter the kitchen to empty the cooker which has beetroot in it and while she sips her coffee, she comments " Ungalukku Samaikave varadhu la" (You dont know to cook!!) . I didnt know what to tell her back. Needless to day, I was quite taken aback.  I thought to myself that all for me trying to be nice with her, I probably got a good response ! Phew! What makes people pass random comments like this? After gathering my thoughts I replied  " Samaika theriyamaya saapadarom?" and I cut short the conversation very quickly after this. Who on earth invented the idea of passing unsolicited comments to all and sundry , especially if the said comment(s) hurt others?

-- Do I alone belong to a family of people who talk only about people, yes, why is it that every time I speak to some relative, they want to know entire details of when I bath, what I'm doing now till where do I go and shop. I do agree that things like these make for good conversation etc, but why is it that people are so interested in knowing every little detail of whats happening in others life ? You wont believe if I say my aunt asked me if my sister got internship through college or through some reference. Even before she goes to her internship company, we get questions of if lunch will be served by the company and if its subsidized? Auntyji, do you want us to go and check on all these even before we join? And moreover, how does it matter to you auntyji? I know the answer: to go around and spread this tid-bit of an information to all those who have ears to hear. One suggestion for you and people like you : Please switch on the TV, especially any news channel. There are many more interesting stuff happening in the world!

-- Why is it the I get jitters on the day when MIL is going to return back after her vacation? My stress levels increase on this particular day, by checking if the kitchen is clean, if fridge is decently stocked, if the house is decently cleaned and plan for that day's bfast/lunch/dinner . I try to just relax and let it be, but I've not made considerable progress in this aspect yet.


More questions and observations in another post.

Whats your take?

A very good friend of mine is not in her ususal good spirits off late and the reason being she and her husband are going through rough times of their married life. Since she couldnt take it any longer, flood gates opened one fine day and she burst out narrating what she was going through. Knowing her since school days and knowing her husband too, I can vouch that both of them are among gem of people and have a wonderful character. I was very sure that this was just another fight among them ,but a little more than a normal one and probably they were in a tiff so often in a short duration that it seemed to her , that they were constantly at cross with each other. I reassured her that fights do happen between husband and wife in most of the marriages and my husband and I fight like cats and dogs too. I tried my best to cheer her up and gave gyaan as to what she could do from her part, like controlling her tongue and not spit out words in anger ..

But, she came back after a month and expressed that her marriage wasnt working and she was thinking of the dreadful "D". I was shocked to hear this. Atleast, between the two of us, she is the one who is most adjusting and accomodating and whatever little I knew of her marraiage, both of them were letting go each other during troubled times. I tried to talk /counsel her and  finally told her that in my opinion, if it required that she has to step up and walk those extra few or many steps to make their marriage work, she has to do it. In no way , she should give up , especially in such short duration and try and keep trying and not lose faith.

I've always been of the opinion that when a man and woman are united through marriage of mutual consent, they could always make the marriage work. I agree that there will be difefrences , infact lots of them every single day, but, if they want to, they could remain inside the marriage and still have space and respect for each other .  I agree that its very very difficult to put in practice, my own married life is an example of how rocky a marriage can be, but, still, there will be something that will make their marriage work, just that it is the willingness of the couple  is what is required to take the extra step.


My friend's take on this is: Things can only be tried and re-tried for a certain duration. After some time, it gets worse day after day. If things dont work , then why live under the same roof committed to one another, but still hating each other and undergoing the mental trauma ? Instead , why not seperate and be at peace?"

Whats your take?