Where was I?

very much here..Buried with work on weekdays and two weekends were spent travelling. I wouldnt say I simply didnt have the time to blog, if I'd been determined to write a post every day as I'd decided in the beginning of the month,I would have done. Once I missed two days due to travel, the mind started making excuses to slip every single day thereafter..But, I need to mention that I was working like crazy this month..There is an impending project milestone and too many issues to tackle at work front..And with two maids bunking and quitting jobs even without informing, took a toll on physical energy too...

It was Guruvayoor one weekend and Kanchipuram, the next..Yes,the trips were for visiting God at various places :) and seeking His Blessings ! We had early morning darshan (Nirmalya Darshan) at 3AM in Guruvayoor for which we queued up at 1:30 AM. The route that we took was pleasant, through the ghat section via Mudumalai and Wayanad district.Spotted few animals on the way..
Kanchipuram trip saw us with a driver who had to be constantly reminded not to doze off and who drove the vehicle at 60kmph when the entire highway had only one vehicle, which was ours. We had planned to visit 4 temples, but could visit only 3 from that list, since the 4th one was closed and there was no clarity on if it would open that evening. It was a day trip and we had not planned to stay over the night. So,came back , but I was upset and pondered over as to why God had decided not to give His darshan that day. My husband,S, is not a temple person, meaning, he doesnt believe in praying to specific God's in specific temples, and I'd almost given up in asking him if we can go visit temples. S told repeatedly that this was the list list of temples (Guruvayoor : S's mom has been asking him to take a trip to Guruvayoor for last close to year and a half or so) that he would accompany in this pursuit of pro-creation. With this being the case, why did God not give His darshan to us that day, when we made this trip after months of debating.

The silver lining in this is I got over my moodiness in considerably short time , after all the voices and conflicts that was ongoing in the mind and heart came out in form of tears..I decided whatever has happened as happened and that I will move on and was praying for strength to accept things that come my way.

And I know that I havent kept up th eone-day-a-post which I thought of trying..Let me see if I can do this at a different time.

Pilgrimage

Had been to the interiors of central tamilnadu to visit the family diety temples .(both the husband’s side and parents side) . Though the travel was tiring by itself, visiting the temples and of course praying the supreme power helped me be at peace with myself and with life in general. And the fact that this time, the husband didn’t make a fuss of anything which he usually does when it comes to temple visits. Probably all the prayers and temple visits that we have done so far is beginning to take an effect.

Ever since the first/second  miscarriage, both the parents and the in-laws are taking turns to visit every possible astrologer with our horoscopes to figure out if something could be done to appease the gods/goddesses/forefathers which would eventually lead to a grandchild through us for them. All the astrologers that they have visited so far have always been positive and more or less , all of them have suggested a set of temples for us to visit. In addition to that, a few of them have suggested other holy places apart from the common set. So, that leaves us with one big list of holy shirnes to visit. Since the husband is one who is simply uninclined towards religious affairs, come what may, I’m one who gets the nudge from both the parents and the in-laws. Now, I’m stuck between the elders pushing us to perform poojas and visit temples and the husband who gets irritable on forcing him to do stuff that he doesn’t like to. And needless to mention, this has been one of the main reasons for a tiff between husband and myself and on looking back, have a feeling that these tiffs have consumed most of our life so far.   

Coming back to the pilgrimage last week, I was not very sure if we could get the opportunity to go to Sri Sithadi Kathayee Amman temple, family diety of our parents , situated off Kumbakonam on the

Nagapatinam Road

. Reason being time and mil willing to travel there. Somehow, the goddess pulled us there and I was happy that we could make it. I was visiting the temple after a very long time and my emotions were running high. Spent some quality time talking to the presiding deities and left the place contended. We visited the Thiruvenkadu Budhan temple, took a holy dip in the three tanks, offered prayers, had a good lunch before proceeding towards Kathayee Amman temple. Halted at Thiruvaroor , bought all the stuff required for Abishegam at Ettukudi Subramanya Swamy temple the next day. Proceeded to the Murugan temple at around 8AM on Sunday morning, only to reach there at around 9AM and find a huge crowd of devotees in the temple. Somehow, got a time to perform abishegam , had a simple meal at the priests’ house and returned to the hotel to pack the bags and head for the train back to Bangalore.

The two day visit strengthened my hope and faith and brought in a peace. But, being a normal human being, the monkey mind (literal translation for Kurangu budhi) has started showing its ugly head and in a matter of 3 days I find myself struggling to come to terms with the happenings of everyday life ..