All in a days work.

I compromised on breakfast today for I wanted to come a bit early than regular to avoid all the team members turning and giving me a look when I enter atleast for one day in a week. Only to come to office and notice that more than half the team is not to be seen and most of them are on leave and the rest are yet to turn up! Phew! I would have atleast had another toast!

With no mood to work, I thought of picking up stuff that I did a few months ago , check whethere everything is working and may be make some changes to them. Only to find that the previously-working-stuff is Just not working today!! Gah!

In a mood to listen to music hoping it will lift up my spirits, I open raaga.com and select on a song and that simply doesnt play!! Inspite of checking the headphones, Sound Application on PC, when I try to close the tab, it says "Song Playing.Do you still want to close it?". Pff! Where is it playing ?Not in my PC! Pfff..

I had thought of joining the lunch group today after a brief gap of few days (where I had at my desk) ,only to find that my stomach has started giving me frequent notices starting at 11:45 when the usual lunch time for our group is 12:30 and then find a table and begin to eat. Hmmm..

Movie

Watched Lingaa today. I would like to call myself a Ulaganayagan fan rather than a Superstar fan. Not sure how this bias settled , but as far as my memory can go, I've been biased this way. However, I have watched a lot of thalaivar movies too.

After watching this movie,I wonder what is different in here that the director is trying to convey? It's a regular masala with flashback and revolves around the hero (especially Super star,in this case) doing good for the society inspite of all the hurdles that he comes across. Just because Rajni has to act in a movie set in pre-independence era (to equal the score with Kamal ??) and show this patriotic fever, is it necessary to make a movie and put a check mark?

As long as the make-up artist for Rajni is active , none of the heroes need to worry. All of them act pair with heroines who would have grown up with their own children. I feel There is no point in just expressing this concern in speeches, why not put them into action? Why do these yester year actors always want to be seen as main-roles in big screen? Even the legend, Nadigar Thilagam has played the role of father, grand-father in many movies. Why not these Heros take a cue from them? 

All in all, a time pass for 2 hours 47 minutes.

P.S: when I rant these points to the husband, he has a straight forward answer: "Appuram edhuku kan kottama paakara? Unna madhiri paakara aalunga irukardhu nala than, the entire crew gets all the courage to make any kind of movie". 

Mondays!!

This is a cheat post..There are a few posts, especially the one which is a follow-up to the previous one needs to be completed and published, which hopefully I'll do it soon.

For me, its not just monday mornings, but the blues extend untill monday noons. Especially when untill a few years ago, there used to be monday morning status meetings and we all used to hate that and hence we forced the management to change it to tuesdays.

Monday mornings are when the body and the mind just wouldn't budge to whatever commands one gives to it and would want to curl up in the bed for extra 5 minutes which sometimes extend to more than 1/2 an hour.

And offlate, during Monday's lunch, people will go around the table telling how their weekend was and when many in the group would give a gist of the the various "exciting stuff" they did over the weekend ,it doesnt bother me one bit to reply in a single word "nothing,just lazed around in the house".

I usually feel too sleepy on Monday afternoons. On some mondays, I would yawn so much as if any on-looker would think I havent slept properly in months.

Insane fear

I'm a person who takes in every word of what people (ok, read : friends, relatives , extended family, some colleagues) say to my heart, brain, mind, and every other part of my body (: Because of this, I get stressed quite easily and more importantly, this behavior of mine has allowed others to control me. In the sense, if I do not like what they say, that has en effect on my mood, which shows in the actions I do and until I get calmed down, my whole productivity is gone . On top of it, I just torture myself, which isn't good for my physical and mental well-being.

The best part of all this is that in spite of me realizing how this is affecting me and taking a resolution more number of times than the years in Anno Domini , I haven't changed completely. After certain instances, I used to think I'm getting better only to realize the next time that I'm in the same place and haven't improved. I'm very tired of myself.  After hours of introspection every now and then, I used to get to the core of the problem and see what is causing me to behave in this way and find solutions to rectify it.

The effect of such a behavior has led me to not be in touch (read as : Not talk or have any sort of communication) with those that have hurt me in the past. This is the result of the inherent fear within me as to what if during the conversation, they hurt me and I go into this cycle of getting depressed, brood over it , spoil my mood, show it on all those near and dear and then later, after the "realization" of the stupidity I've been doing for the past many hours, then come out of it. Just fear. I know every well that is is baseless fear, senseless fear. In spite of the sane mind knowing all of these, the insane mind takes over and I would like to improve in this area starting this year. I may not overcome this immediately, but hopefully, in the near future, I shed this fear and start communicating with fear without the fear and more importantly, if they hurt me, just let go and not take it anywhere within , even to my nails (which can be cut when it grows).

Story behind a random dog on the street

Most of the 55-ers that I write are based on real-life incidents with some bits of fiction here and there. The previous one "55er-Waht goes around comes around"  also falls in the same category. 

My mother has regularly observed that a lady walks her dog in the street in the evening and every single day, the dog would go near a tulasi plant and do its job. Amma tried asking the lady if she could train the dog to do it elsewhere. For which, the lady replied saying, it’s a dog and the dog will behave as per its wishes and nothing can be done about it.  

I’m no expert in pets, but from what I’ve heard,read and seen on media, a dog can be trained, I guess. If that’s not the case, will the owners allow the dog to use their entire house as a rest-room for dogs? Its hard to believe for me. When amma narrated me this incident, I asked her not to get disturbed and since she has already done her part of requesting the dog-owner, there is nothing much she could do about it. 

A few months later, after we moved in here, I do see bins placed on the roads, especially in residential neighborhoods that clearly says “dog litter”. And I see a lot of elderly gentlemen having a plastic cover or two in their pockets and they pick up the stuff done by their dogs and use the bins to dispose them. On seeing this the first time, I spent quite some time thinking about it and inspite of having a plastic cover and washing their hands later some 150 times, at that instant, what makes a person pick it up ? Do they consider this their moral duty as the government/society has placed bins for this purpose or even if they don’t prefer it, they do it because others do the same or what is it? 

We cannot expect our society in India to get this kind of attitude overnight or even in 10 years. But, at the least, when the dog is with the owner on the roads/areas used by general population, can they train their pets to do its job in places that are not accessed by humans?

55er : what goes around comes around

Sumathy decided to seek the guidance of the temple priest to help bring in peace in her family. The priest asked her to perform tulasi pooja for 28 weeks. On the way home, she suddenly remembered how she disregarded an elderly woman’s plea to train her dog to not to pee on the tulasi plant.

First day to school/work after break : Fiction in 55

Watching children board the school bus, Shantha felt she had forgotten what it was like to go to school. After a long Christmas break ,she was getting ready to go to work and had an unusual feeling the whole morning. That's when she realized she felt like a child who HAS to go to school .

Welcome 2015

Dear 2015,
 Welcome!

  I hope that you have bundles and bundles of goodness for everyone all through the year. May you Keep everyone in good health, let peace prevail in our lives , make dreams/wishes of all of us come true, reward hard work and sincerity, offer help for all those in trying circumstances, overall May you keep everyone happy.

Dear 2014,
 First of all, Thank you, for all that you gave and didn't give as well.  As with the years in the recent past, you came and went past like a "flash". A good friend remarked that as a person grows older, he/she feels that every year passes by a little too quickly. The reason he gave was : as we grow older, every year becomes a smaller fraction of the overall life that we have lived so far. A child in class 2 feels the year is longer as the year is 1/7th of the child's life, whereas a 30 year old finds the year whizz past as the year becomes 1/30th of his lifetime.

Anyways,returning to you,2014,the year started with a surgery, recovery after that, then this job offer which needed to relocate, confusion and the decision making process, the process of shifting houses in blr, having to resign the job , some purchase and the move, re-starting the process of finding a house in a foreign country, getting an everyday routine set, finding hospitals to continue the medical care, getting to work with people from different cultural and language backgrounds, having office cubicle shifted thrice in 3 months, getting to manage with whatever vegetarian options are available, sharing cooking and cleaning with S, living with S (without the Mil) for the first time since marriage, realising that I can also cook decently as long as the brain and mind are sane,realising that doing the dishes is no big deal, finding ways to make these chores simpler, getting used to the numbing silence, weather.. It has been a year that was little different from the previous ones, though I have listed a huge list above, I wouldn't call it a great year. Undoubtedly, I'm thankful for these changes that you brought into our lives, for without these little changes, I might have fallen into a vicious cycle of depression that the years before you saw me in. Thank you for opening my mind and heart to experience change, enjoy the acres of greenery that comes into sight as I walk to work each day, take in the varied colours of autumn, prepare for winter , being open to interact with people from different cultural backgrounds, helping me to be myself when it comes to attire or food, and more importantly, Thanks a ton to my better half ,S who shares  household work or sometimes does all of it if I'm not in the mood for it. He doesn't flinch one bit when it comes to these. Thanks to his bachelor days when he was away from home and had to do all of these by himself.

Overall, you have been ok to me. Please do tell/order your successor to be good,really great. I desperately need a good year.

Thank you!


Wish everyone a very Happy and a Prosperous 2015. May 2015 be a good year for all of us. All those participating in Blogathon-2015, all the best. Let's bump into each other once in a while