Welcome back

to myself :) :)

I have always thought if you are a parent, then there is lots more to blog about, the parenting happiness and struggles, the decision making, pics of all the antis that the little one does, ranting , to record everything and anything..Little did I realize then that yes, definitely there are indeed many many things to blog about but how would we do that when one is always pressed for time..

But from now on (hopefully I keep it up, this time) I will try and put in words if not all, some of all the ramblings that goes in my mind as blog posts.

When I was in the trying-to-conceive bandwagon, I started shunning myself from social gatherings/outings..When the topic of team outing would come up, I would be mute most of the times and out of necessity ,sometimes I would just play along..Given a choice, I would back out. I turned into this person who became asocial, not looking forward to attending an invite that came by..I used to think then that once I have a baby, I would turn around and enthusiastically participate in social gatherings. I would say that yes, I'm now mingling more (compared to earlier), accepting invites and attending them ..On one level deeper thought, yes, I'm engaging myself only if there is a NEED to. say, when I have to engage the little one , so that little one gets fresh air if I take her to the park, Ajju gets social interaction if I take her to the birthday party invite..You can see that its all because of Ajju. Even then, only if there is a need. Otherwise, I don't step out of my comfort zone. Like how I delayed going to meet an aged friend of ours for a full 10 days after she invited us. like how I didn't go for the Diwali invite from our neighbor .

And when Ajju is not in the pic, I'm the same old self, wouldn't budge..Why all of this coming upnow? I didn't go for the team outing yesterday. I wanted to go, but  when the time came to get ready, I wasn't too keen..I gave myself all sort of lame reasons to not go. I didn't find even one good reason that motivated me to go. Now, when everyone says that they had a good time, I feel that I should have gone and missed it. Why am I not motivated to participate in social events? Is this my original personality? I dont know ..I used to be a social butterfly at school and in our neighborhood. But in college, I mellowed down a bit ..And became asocial as the years passed by ..

I want to change a bit in this aspect..I'm not looking to be the enthu pot that some people are, however, being this anti social is also not good. next time, when an invitation comes in, I'm hoping I can participate in it with interest. Lets see.