Of walking backwards ..

so what I missed posting for 4 days? Programming resumes today

Ajju had a lick of hand sanitiser yday and gave me a scare. Little munchkin. Give her anything edible, she will examine it like a researcher if the said item has made punniyams to be held by her..Any non-edible stuff, especially those that needs to be kept away from children : she will not bat an eyelid and grab it with so much glee. I washed myself after nappy change and my bad (yes, it was my mistake, again), I put a drop of hand sanitiser in her palm and before I could place the said bottle and turn to her (not even a second,huh) she licked it. After that started my rounds of calling the doctor, googling, more googling, asking her carers to keep an eye on her , annoying her daddy and her ammamma and getting myself paranoid..

The first pram that we bought for her can be made street-facing when the child is in sitting/sleeping . Only when we place a car seat can the child be parent facing. (Its a story for another day how we bought another pram) . Even when she was a baby,she liked to observe the world around her. So, when there are a group of kids playing in the park and once we cross the park, she would let out a cry asking that she wants to continue watching the big children. I cant ask them to come and do entertainment in front of my baby.can I? Next, I also need to get moving beyond a certain time , for I would have stepped out to get some work done. So, solution : walk backwards..so that the little munchkin can keep watching the other kids, I can move forward (by walking backwards :) ) and cover a certain distance. 

An incident post demonetisation

A few days after the demonetisation happened, I happened to shop at a local vegetable bazaar and tried to do a card transaction for 200 odd INR. Inspite of scratching (yes, literally she scratched it rather than swiping) multiple times, the transaction wouldnt go through and the sales lady showed me proof that my transaction didnt go through and I scrapped my purse to collect whatever money I had to pay in. I just had a word with the manager and moved on to other stuff.

Fast forward two days later, my bank statement shows 3 debits and only 2 credits for the aforesaid transaction. So, the amount has been debited once. I go to the manager of the store and with no bill or proof of my bank statement at hand and inform him that there have been 3 debits and only 2 credits. Immediately, the manager took money from his pocket and asked me how much he needs to give me and handed over hot cash.

I was pleasantly surprised by his action. He didnt ask me a single question and simply believed in my words. For that matter, I'm not even a regular customer (my mother is, but not sure if he spotted my mom along with me while we shopped the other day).

Vaazhga such men and hoping people dont make "use" of such men and play dirty : else, even these few men would change their ways. 

Feeling terrible today..

Scolded Ajju today. Well, if I have to be honest to myself, this is not the first time..Last 2 months, I have been losing my patience over the antics and tantrums (that seem simple now in hindsight) of the little darling..A lot of things happening at the same time is overwhelming me and I lose my patience on the little brat. After all the stress settles down, I do realise that she is way way better than all the tantrums that I have done and still do to my parents. Inspire of taking a resolution umpteen times that I will control my stress/anger, will not show it on her, will be patient with her even if she tests my patience, will control my mouth, will zip my mouth, etc, I still fail..Just as I have failed today. I'm feeling very terrible. I think I'm the worst mother in the whole wide world. Seriously, which child does not test his/her parents patience? Aren't all the mother's being patient and dealing with their children? Why can't I be nice with my daughter? Why am I not able to come trolley my temper? Why am I not learning from my mistakes and committing the same mistake over and over? When will I ever learn? Will I ever? 

This is the last and final warning for myself. I want to change .. Sincerely I want to change in this aspect. I've put this down here so that next time if at all I misbehave,  I really don't know how I'm going to punish myself.. Universe and the higher power, please please help me succeed in this endeavor. I'm going to take it one day at a time, let's see..

What to write??? Travel it is

Just as I'm wondering what to post today, a colleague of mine asks where I travelled to  over the Christmas-new year break. I replied that I was at home. There was an immediate surprise element and a few more repetition of the same question: " really you didn't go anywhere??" Nejama sir, I stayed put at home. Next interrogation was where all I have traveled to. This will be the topic for today..Now where all I have traveled to, but my opinions on travel.

I used to want to travel a lot, see the world when I was in my early twenties (well, I'm sure getting older now).As years went by, the intensity of the desire did come down, but yes, the desire was still there..Fast forward to now, I'm not craving travel and seeing places as much as I used to is my current mental state. This can change in due course getting me back to where I was, but for now, travel is not on my top priority list. After we came to the UK, a few started suggesting where all I can go during what seasons (even without my asking) and after a year, when we didn't do the tick-mark of the usual European places, the conversation went to : so, you have not even seen Italy/[insert any country,place]. 

Well, people, not all of the human race has the desire to travel just like you do. And more importantly, people do undergo phases and they may be in a phase where travel may not be on their priority. So, there is nothing to be condescending when you get to know someone is not as well traveled as you are. 

Going,seeing places/people definitely widens one's perspective, but what of those who don't have the opportunity to travel. What of those who have time and energy to make only ends meet. So, let's stop judging people based on anything for that matter..And you, you, even if you judge me, I don't care..I have a blog where I can write/vent :-) :-)

Onto some AAA stuff..

Ajju loves AAA batteries since they are quite smaller and she can quietly sneak it in her mouth and bite us when we try to remove it from her mouth..

AA batteries come a close second and they are used to mimic cigarettes for her( sathiyama,enga veetula yaarum pugai pidikala)..

The moment she puts any non-ergonomic stuff in her mouth,she will keep her lips so tightly closed :-) 

But,present her any edible stuff, not a single piece or morsel gets the bagyam to entering her highness' mouth.

We have sleep songs, starting from twinkle twinkle little star when she was an infant to the recent pachai mayil vahanane..She shakes her body as if dancing, even when she's going to sleep. 

When we adults laugh out loud for something, she also strata laughing giving an expression that she also wants to join in the merry :-)

When either her dad or momma casually puts their arm around the other, she will spot it and waste no time in coming to us, remove the said arm and sit exactly in between us !! Who taught her all this??

Happy New Year 2017

Happy new year to everyone I know and to those I will get to know this year :-) And happy new year,blog. I keep taking a resolution every year to write more, just that I haven't kept up that so far. This year, I'm making the same resolution, starting with trying to do a decent job at this blogathon.

I'm a person who makes resolutions regardless of the occasion. Whether I keep them up or not is a post for another day. Well, this year, what are my resolutions?

  - Be better : at parenting,at work, at keeping stress at bay, at ignoring people what others say or think about me, keeping in touch with people,at using my time effectively.

How was 2016?  Well, most part of the year was spent with our little Ajju, .Spent on changing nappies, getting her to sit in car seat/pram, getting her to eat and sleep. All these may look to be normal in the daily routine of an infant/toddler, but we create a scene and do drama for all of these. They are all still work in progress..

I hardly (should read: never) had any time or spent any time on grooming myself or reading a book. Always used to go out in the clothes that I was in at the moment. Didn't read beyond 3 pages(so embarrassing to even mention this). But, did watch quite a few movies and caught up with some few Pakistani dramas and some ITV shows. Would like to change some of these this year for the better.

Dishyum Dishyum

Among many fantasy inspired thoughts I had, one of it was that when a couple welcome a baby, they also welcome a even stronger relationship between them which has very less fights and misunderstandings ..Thanks to all the dialogues in movies and soaps , this thought only strengthened within me. When S and I used to fight earlier, I used to convince myself and even vocalize to S that once we have a baby, we may have very less tiffs.

Ajju graces our lives and home. Now, we seem to fight more. Well, read as : I seem to fight more with S than earlier. I lose patience with him more easily, spurt out unnecessary words, pick up a fight for silly stuff , have disagreements on some of the aspects of his parenting and what not..

Not sure if I'm the only one on this boat or is it normal? Inspite of the fact that I keep taking a oath to myself that from today, from tomorrow, from now on I need to be very nice to S but I have been failing in actions many a times these days(:

With the list of things to do at home, with baby, at work, I dont seem to find enough time to even internalize it , feel guilty and come out with a stronger resolve. I dont know why I fight so much. S being the sweetheart that he is, has been very understanding and being quite adjusting, forgiving and forgetting. But, I cant test his patience right.
I have read elsewhere that women tend to forget (well, put husband in backseat) their husbands when a baby arrives, atleast in the initial few years. Now, I'm realizing what they meant by it and I'm also one of them. But, I want to come out of it., soon, now. Along with this blogathon, I'm going to try and be nice to S(read: dont start a fight) one day at a time, one week at a time, one month at a time and make it a habit forever. Please wish me in this endeavor.  Universe, please conspire and help both of us feel better.